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Happy Hump Day, America. Do I have a great monologue tonight? Best of the year in my opinion. what’s the rush for You have to be somewhere Sandra?
SANDRA SMITH: I love the new, I love the new place.
Yeah whatever. That’s so white of you, you bunch of racists. Oh look, I’m important, time is money, I have places to see, people to meet, wonder bread and mayo to eat. You typical fanatic, always in a hurry. Thank you.
It’s true. Urgency is racism, at least according to Oregon health officials, who delayed the meeting for no other reason than to declare that “urgency is a value of white supremacy.” As far as excuses go, it sounds a lot better than “the dog ate my alarm clock.”
But it raises a key question. Since my show starts on time every night, do I qualify as a grand magician?
In an email obtained by the great Reason magazine, Regional Health Equity Coalition Program Manager Daniel Droppers, a big name, told People that a planned conversation will not go ahead as planned because urgency is a value of excellence of whites that can get in the way of more deliberate and thoughtful work, which I guess she calls sleeping and then looking at “The View” from her toilet. That’s how I see it.
OREGON PROMOTES TEACHER TRAINING AIMING TO ‘UNDER RACISM IN MATH’
So what a happy coincidence for a public servant that it’s racist to do your job, whether it’s running an appointment or teaching kids math, doing both is racist, so don’t bother. In this way, everyone fails, not just the government.
Now it’s the Oregon Health Authority, a real agency tasked with coordinating medical care as well as offloading information about COVID during the pandemic. So no wonder they screwed this country over covid, it would be racist not to.
And could you use a wider paintbrush? Blacks are never in a hurry. So when you say Bolt beats a white guy, which is every time, is that reverse racism? “Hey Usain, what are you in such a hurry for? Slow down, you’re starting to run like a white man.”You know, I’m worried. I wonder if these things will ever appear on Fox.
Now, to teach the bewildered why urgency is racist, another official pointed to a white anti-racist educator who is pushing the idea that innocuous traits are actually evil evidence of white supremacy. Things like wanting to write things down or being a perfectionist.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t understand when they use the term white supremacy. Do they mean it as an insult or as a compliment? Okay, so you write things down.
You seem to value time and want things done right. I mean, you just described the perfect employee and all the things that made this country the envy of the rest of the world.
CALIFORNIA OFFERS CURRICULUM SINGING NAME OF AZTEC GOD WHO ACCEPTS HUMAN SACRIFICES
Now, obviously, this is all part of the Diversity, Inclusion and Equity training materials, DIE for short, which any company that advertises this crap will do. But you know what? This is good news for lazy, incompetent workers. He’s sleeping right now. You show up late, unprepared, reeking of booze, now fighting against white supremacy.
Looking back on it, I was a regular Rosa Parks in college. I have to admit this is pretty diabolical. I mean, what a great way to ruin someone’s career. Tell them all the things that make you successful, but also make you a fanatic. It’s like a boxing trainer telling his protégé, “Hey, if you want to be a world champion someday, don’t go to the gym, don’t worry about your footwork, and smoking will actually improve your lung capacity.” Oh, and for God’s sake, don’t avoid McDonald’s, it’s delicious.” By telling others that good traits are racist, you’re telling them to fail.
CNN must have had this plan for the last ten years. But you couldn’t ask for a better way to jump over inept, gullible colleagues plagued by white guilt. You make them all stay home until they’re late, and you win by showing up on time while telling minorities to “fall short of your potential. Oh, you’ll get capital after everybody loses’.
Of course, for those irresponsible bureaucrats like Ms. Droppers, their incompetence is to be expected. damn it Public health bureaucrats can literally cause a pandemic and still not get fired. The only thing they do on time, of course, is collect taxes.
So here are some questions for Mrs. Droppers, whose name is perfect for someone who drops the standards for herself. If urgency is a racist value, why don’t we delay your paycheck for a few weeks? It will make us a little less racist. And what about your summer vacation? Is it cool if we just do it in the fall? The beach is still nice in November. Don’t even think about leaving Friday early to beat the traffic, you’re no better than Robert Byrd. Forget sunscreen and just put on your white hoodie.
And think about, you know, Obama, and Harris, and Jackson, they’re all firsts in history, how many whites on their side to be firsts.
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You better hope you don’t end up in the emergency room anytime soon. I mean, could there be anything more racist than an emergency? Emergency situations require quick action. “Sister, I need 200 cc of atropine. I mean, when you get down to it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like a bigot.”Seriously, imagine being a doctor trying to limit your urgency. “Son, you need an appendectomy ASAP or your appendix could burst and you could die. Oh my, did I just say ASAP? What am I, a doctor or a plantation boss? Anyway, I’m clicking the links. We can catch up tomorrow. Unless you’re dead.”
Yes, dead. Death. Talk about finally escaping your own racism. And really, we’d all rather be dead than call them racist. And the fact is, isn’t death really the least racist thing? Think about this. What do they call you when you die? Late.